Recent examples of work completed:
Sir BOBBY ROBSON
WHAT A GREAT MAN!
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(a selection of 7 verses from an 18 verse eulogy)
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Like most supporters, I am sad that you’ve gone
As a manager of football, your face always shone
The passion when you played and you managed with pride
What more can I say to you now that you’ve died.
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I’ve been watching the telly, with the news of your death
You could here a pin drop; everyone’s last breath
The words of praise from managers around the world
Brought a tear to my eye, as the newsflash unfurled.
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St James’s is crowded today, Friday, the day the news broke
Flowers, wreaths and scarves left by kindly Toon folk
Who’ve come to pay their respects to a great Geordie boy
Who for football round the world, you brought pleasure and joy.
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As I pen these few words, in rhyme, in a poem
You’ll be through them Pearly Gates, playing football at home
You’ve selected the team, with Terry Hibbit playing wide
Wor Jackie up front and God by your side.
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Shackleton and Brennan, Joe Harvey’s holding role
The Robledos and Mitchell, with Simpson in goal
A side of big names all playing for the Toon
If we’d had them last season, we’d have never gone doon.
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So I’ll finish up now as I bid you goodbye
I can’t go on much more, there’s a tear in my eye
There’ll be thousands of fans in my situation
You were a great leader amongst the true Geordie nation.
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So it’s goodbye from me, and goodbye from the Toon
Tonight we’ll toast your life, with some Newcastle Broon
We’ll raise our glasses and bottles and drinks in a can
Farewell Bonny Lad, a great Geordie, a great man
THIS IS FOR YOU DOUGIE
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(a selection of 7 verses from an 15 verse eulogy)
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When the Minister says, “we’re here to celebrate
the life of a loved one,” you often find
It’s hard to understand that expression
When “celebrate” is the last thing on your mind
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But at the end of the day we do celebrate
By remembering the times that were good
I’ve put this poem together about Dougie
I hope you enjoy it, you should
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Dougie Milne, you were a friend of mine
Though we didn’t see each other very much
But we occasionally phoned and texted
In order to keep us in touch
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Dougie, you were a typical Scotsman
With a deep pocket and a very short arm
When we dined out and the waiter bought the bill
“I’m off to the lavvie,” you’d say very calm
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You were never happier when sat on a bike
I know you were a fitness freak
I’m sure once you got through those Pearly Gates
You had God in your cycle class in a week
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And finally I have to mention Karen
A lady I’ve never met ‘til today
But the times you spoke to me about her
You should’ve been together ‘til you were both old and grey
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So Dougie, while you are up there listening
I have to say to you, as I draw this to an end
It was my pleasure knowing you my old pal
You were my colleague, my buddy and my friend
Bob Wallace’s 60th
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(a selection of 5 verses from an 18 verse birthday poem)
one
Happy Birthday to you Bob Wallace
You’ve reached the BIG 6 OH!
Your body clock is ticking down fast
You’re now an old b*stard, don’t you know
two
Yes! you’ve joined that elite club
Of old farts growing grey and old
When your health begins to deteriorate
And those old bones start to feel the cold
three
You start to wear incontinence draws
Your urine begins to smell
Your hair starts to fall out very fast
And no longer have the use for hair gel
four
Everything goes ‘south’ due to gravity
You feel like a proper prat
Your willy goes limp, looks towards the floor
Where it once looked up to your hat
five
Now let’s move on and take a good look
And see what makes this man tick
I know you were born across the Irish sea
In Belfast, yes that’s right, you’re a ‘Mick’
An Ode to Angie and Doddie
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(25 years of wedded bliss)
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(a selection of 7 verses from a 21 verse anniversary poem)
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When someone said to me just the other day
Are you writing a poem for Angie and Ian?
I thought about it for quite a while
And replied that I weren’t very keen
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What could I have written if I tried?
To celebrate their silver wedding
I could have mentioned they were a loving couple
Then you’d have wondered where the hell I was heading
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So what can I say in just a few words
About Ian, known to us as ‘the Doddie’
He’s handsome and debonair, an educated man
Who works out to keep his trim body
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When it comes to drink he knows his stuff
A connoisseur of good beers and real ales
From the reaches of the Highlands of Scotland
To the depths of Southern England and Wales
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Now enough of talking about this wonderful man
I’ll move on to his wife, ‘Angie the Queen’
You must be wondering how best I’ll describe her
And at the same time keeping it clean
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Now Angie is not the quietest of persons
And she’d be the first to put you in your place
Her language can be choice on occasion
In fact she’s a bloody disgrace
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So I’ll finally say congrats to Angie and Ian
On reaching this milestone of 25 years
Good luck, good health and long life to you both
All the best of everything, I raise my glass and say cheers
NIKKI’S 39TH BIRTHDAY
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(a selection of 5 verses from a 12 verse birthday poem)
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Happy Birthday sweet Nikki, today you’re 39
I thank God each and every day I am yours and you are mine
I love to look into those deep brown eyes, and kiss those luscious lips
And run my fingers through your dark curly hair, and admire those sensual hips
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I guess I’m just one lucky guy, to have you for my own
And when I am not around, I love to hear your voice on the telephone
Those dulcet tones remind me what awaits me each and every night
And to see you when I come through that door is just an amazing sight
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Apart from being a perfect wife, to the kids you’re a ‘mum’ and a friend
Tom, Vic and Will love you to bits, as a family we all seem to blend
And you’re so supportive to my Mum Joyce, like a daughter she’s never had
In fact when everyone speaks of you, it’s all good, and none of it’s bad
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But among many memories I have of you is the day we went to Gretna Green
You made me a very happy man, you looked beautiful, and you were serene
And if I could change anything about that day, there’d be only one thing don’t you know
That I’d married you a whole lot earlier, say about 20 or 30 years ago
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So I’ll finish up now, there’s no more to be said, except maybe one little thing
I hope your 39th is very special and such happiness on this day it will bring
And if I have a glass of champers in my hand as you finish reading this verse
I raise that glass and toast your health, and hope we do this for many years
Billy skipper’s 50th birthday bash
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(a selection of 8 verses from a 24 verse birthday speech)
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I’m a man of few words as most of you know
I put together a speech, but it went a bit slow
So I went to see my friend Bob, he said he was quite keen
To put my few words through his poetry machine
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This weekend is a double celebration as well you might know
It’s the time when I reach the big old ‘five oh’
But more importantly, ‘cos I’ve hit those heady heights
Of climbing all of the 214 Wainwright’s
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I’ve done more than most and have had a good life
The best was when Karen kindly became my wife
She’s been at my side through the good times and bad
“Karen, you’ve been my Angelina, while I’ve been your Brad”
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And then Paul came along over 8 years ago
He changed our lives for the better as you all well know
It brought a tear to me eye what I heard from my lad
He said, “I just love being with my Mam and Dad”
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I’ve enjoyed my fundraising, to give something back
When it comes to charity, we have all raised a stack
From bike runs to beer runs, I’ve organised some trips
And still have memories of 9 Boxing Day dips
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But as I said my life has been real good
Like most blokes here I like my beer and my food
I can always get down to The Hen in a hurry
For a few swift beers then out for a curry
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So just remember one thing and it is the real deal
You’re only as young as the woman you feel
And Karen is my world and I feel young when she’s around
And my lad Paul keeps my feet on the ground
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So as I finish up now, I’ve one more thing to say
I have enjoyed sharing my life with you on this special day
So as I raise my glass to you one and all here
Thanks for today, now get me a fresh beer